own something

Last night (or should I say, this morning) was my first floorset.  We trudged into work at midnight and left at 8 this morning.  This goes on for 2 weeks.  I really have to say, guys — with a shift like that, moving around clothes en masse nonstop, the music makes all the difference.  Sometimes when I come in at 7am the stock room guy has plugged in his ipod and he starts playing all of this heavy metal/screamo stuff (possibly the first and last time you will ever hear Lamb of God blaring overhead at Forever 21), and inside my head I am begging God to take mercy on us all.  I was like, Oh okay.  The musical apocalypse is here.

So there might be an interesting change in my work life — unexpected, especially for me, because at the moment I was convinced I was so content being the visual assistant.

G, whom I assist, pulled me aside today and said that he had suggested to our Vis Manager that I take a room.  Meaning I won’t be an assistant anymore.  I would, you know, be making my own rules.  Inside that room, I mean.  But I hesitated and I was like, “That sounds awesome, and thank you, but school’s starting soon and I’ll only be able to be here 2 days a week plus weekends.”  But he insisted.  He was like, “Look, it’s your time to shine!  Your time to get noticed!  This is your chance.  I hope you take it.”  And that our VM had already approved it. 

And I was surprised!  Because I’ve been at work long enough to be comfortable with some people, but not everyone.  Some of the visuals hardly even know my name.  I work strictly behind the scenes.  I am the visual bitch.

Later on she would tell me in person.  She asked me if I was interested, and by this time I had warmed up to the idea.  You know how it is when you’re first introduced to an idea — you get all these grandeur illusions of what you could do.  I had hyped myself up, thanks to G.  I’m such a sap that way.  Even with my hesitation of stepping up and being noticed (more importantly, having ACTUAL responsibility), I told the VM I would do it.  And she was like, “Awesome!  This is going to be great.  It just would be great for you to, you know, own something.”

Which is terrifying, but also exciting.  You know, to be able to do what you want… but also face the downside of having to take responsibility for what ideas turn sour.  Ew?